Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
