No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
