when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
