I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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