laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
