I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think my tv is drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize