butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
