i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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