I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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