Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
