i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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