I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
