could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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