just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last time i carry you out of a forest
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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