Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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