it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's blow job season.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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