you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And then he peed in my hair
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