I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize