Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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