considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
