these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
