oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
