I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
