Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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