Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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