You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
