Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is it penis luge time yet?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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