Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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