my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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