oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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