If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
