apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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