You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
