That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
