Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
