We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
