Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
