white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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