i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
