My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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