dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
