Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
