Im at strip club and am horny
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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