Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
