Nicole vs. Life
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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