I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
