First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Found your dick twin last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
