He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
