i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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