Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
