Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
