yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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