At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
