im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
where are my eyebrows?
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