haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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