I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
