In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
