Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
