Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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