he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
