I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
