Me too!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
