This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my poor anus
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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