we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
