i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
