there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
