How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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